Believe You Can Fly

By

Jazz Summers

For a long time, I couldn’t speak. A lot of people thought I didn’t have anything to say. They were wrong.

My name is Jessica Summers and I am 14 years old. My friends call me “Jazz”. I live in a “blended family”. My mom has been with me all my life. She is Dr. Lynley Summers, and she wrote a book called “Autism Is Not a Life Sentence.” She has written a lot of stuff. The other members of the family are Steve, who is my adopted dad, and my two younger brothers Alex and Averie. Steve is a flight engineer in the Air Force. Alex is 12, and in the 8 th grade. He plays the guitar and skateboards. Averie is 10, and in the 5 th grade. He is also Autistic, like me.

I go to Mills University Studies High School, which is ranked 20 th in the nation by Newsweek Magazine. I’m a sophomore there this year. I skipped the 6th grade, so last year I was the youngest person in the entire school. I am happy that there are new freshman now. Because I used to struggle with organization, I have to tell you how I did.

I survived my freshman year with a 3.25 GPA and two awards from the Awards Ceremony, specifically the Science & Technology Brief Award and the Most Outstanding Freshman Choir Member Award. I also made All-Region Choir last year for the Central Region, and was 4 th chair 1 st Alto.

I talked to my mom and dad, and to Bobbi McKenna about bragging. I am afraid of bragging. She told me that it was okay to tell the truth about the stuff that you were doing. I don’t want to sound vain about this stuff. It makes me feel happy to be able to do things like this. My mom says that it is important to be honest in this speech because it shows how far I have come. Please understand that I don’t mean to sound boastful.

Last summer, I went to church camp with my youth group. I met my boyfriend there. He’s really terrific, and he is really interested in the person that I am. He has a great sense of humor, kind of like my dad. After that, I flew to Missoula, Montana. I was selected to go to a performing arts camp. Only 44 were chosen from around the world. There were kids from the UK, Korea and Japan there as well. It was a great time, and I made a lot of new friends. At the end of the week, we performed in a musical, and I got one of the solos. I also wrote and performed a monologue, and received a standing ovation.

I like to listen to music, play video games, and hang out with my friends. My friends and I usually have sleepovers, go places, do fun activities, and all the other things that friends do, like talk about how great it is to be friends with one another.

My favorite things to do are to sing, act, draw, and write because, in a way, such activities carry me to another place. It’s like when certain people read a book; it just carries them away from their troubles for a little while. Also, I absolutely LOVE the arts. It is a huge dream of mine to either become a great fiction writer, a professional singer, an actress, or maybe a Broadway star; the list goes on and on...

My life is great because I’m not shunned by anyone. I can fit in just fine, with just about any group (well, except for the people who do the wrong things.) People see me for who I am, and most people see me as a regular person. This is good, as I want people to accept me. My family can talk to me easily, and I am not isolated from anyone.

But it wasn’t always like this.

When I was little, I was diagnosed with Autism. I used to bang my head against the wall, floor, anything I could spot. I also flailed, shrieked, bit, wouldn’t look anyone in the eyes, and did just about everything else that children with Autism do. Although I matured fast as a baby, I became mute at the end of my infant years, before I was two years old. Then, if I ever did talk, all I spoke was gibberish to the people who saw me. To put in simpler terms, I was in what my mom called “the Void”, which she describes as “my time in darkness”.

Things were scary, like the fact that people “discarded” me and my mom out of the social ring, just because they thought that my mom didn’t know how to control me. My Autism was something that NEITHER of us could control at the time, and for that reason we were shunned by the people we knew. And, worse yet, the doctors who diagnosed me with Autism said that I would likely never be able to speak English. Some said that I

might have to be put in some kind of home full of “people like me”, who were also “misfits”, and that if I was lucky I would get my high school diploma by the age of 21. They called me “mentally retarded”, with my IQ at the time being 50. Had I understood what they said of me at the time, I most likely would have broken down and gone even further into the Void. And if my loving mom were not as faithful as she is, she would have given up on my case and we might still be outcasts.

I didn’t have any friends, and I was lonely. I couldn’t help my Autism; I didn’t know how. I didn’t even know I HAD Autism at the time. I thought that what I was doing was perfectly natural. I guess it WAS natural, for Autism. But what I was doing was the very reason why children made fun of me, and why people labeled me as a “freak”.

Then, my mom and I started doing strange things like having people teach me through Barbie dolls how I should act, putting small objects in my hand so I wouldn’t do weird motions with them, and we played Hooked-On-Phonics EVERY SINGLE DAY. If I didn’t speak English, I wouldn’t get what I want (which was usually sweets or toys).

She called it therapy.

I had a lot of grownup friends who were actually my mom’s friends, but I considered them to be my friends, too. They did therapy with me, too. Mostly, they were people at my mom’s college, and they would sit in my floor and play with Barbies. The more they did therapy with me, the more faith they had in me, too, maybe. Pretty soon, my mom was taking me to the college with her all the time, and making me practice the things we learned in therapy. It started to get easier to remember.

I started going to lots of places and learning a lot of things. Mom took me everywhere. If I was learning about the Revolutionary War in school, we would go to a battlefield. Same thing for the Civil War. We went hiking in National Parks. We went camping all the time. We went to the beach a lot, especially near the lighthouses. My favorite is the one at Cape Hattaras, which is a black and white swirled pattern lighthouse. I like lighthouses because in the dark, the light shines and shows the way out of the Void. My mom likes them because she used to imagine that she was a lighthouse when I had a “storm.” She would pray for God to keep the light shining. He always did.

Going to school at first was a bit scary. I thought that I wouldn’t fit in. Somehow I still managed to make a few friends. When I was in elementary school, I enjoyed school because the teachers were nice and I like to learn things. The kids treated me differently because you could tell that I was Autistic. It wasn’t a problem, though, because my mom has always made sure to teach me how to be comfortable being me. Now that I am in high school, you can hardly tell at all. Mom says that I still do weird things, but that she likes it. Probably the weirdest thing I do is that when I get excited, I quote from television shows. I’ve done this since I was in elementary school. But it doesn’t bother anybody, and so-called “normal” people do it all the time.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t think anybody is truly “normal”. I mean, everybody has their own special qualities and personality. Just like there are special shapes and sizes. Actually, the “normal” people are pretty boring adults. The “normal” kids were really mean. Mom wanted me to have a normal life, but she didn’t want me to be a “normal” person. She’s always said that I was far too extraordinary to be normal. Everybody is extraordinary in their own way, I guess.

The point I am trying to get at is that you shouldn’t shun people because they are different. No one is going to be alike. Everybody is different than you. Different is a good thing. America is a land of diversity. People can not help the way that they are born. My mom says that you can learn something from everyone, and you can teach something to everyone. Never pass up an opportunity to learn something new from someone else. Never pass up an opportunity to teach someone else something new.

What I really want is for other Autistic children to be accepted. I don’t want them to have to go through what my mom and I went through. It’s too painful. I want them to be

accepted for who they are, and not judged for “what they have.” However, therapy is what needs to happen. Otherwise, there’s not going to be any improvement. It’s always easier to be lazy, or to think that nothing can be done. “OH NO!! He has Autism!! All is lost! Alas!” You know what? All is not lost.

For many Autistic children, there is hope. It will take a lot of patience and hard work, but you can reach your goals. You can get out of the Void. There is nothing to lose in trying, and everything to gain.

I am one of the lucky ones. I will have a great life. I plan to go to college, or maybe to art school. I have the opportunity to make choices, like everybody else. That’s because I have an awesome mom. Not everybody has a mom like mine. I know that I will need things, though. I will be Autistic all my life. But at my level I may not need services. However, the struggles that others with Autism face are devastating, and that’s why Autism is known as a spectrum disorder. My brother will need many more services than I may need. There are millions of other kids out there that still can not speak, but have minds like the ones inside my head. They need your understanding. They need your patience. They need your guidance.

I was thrilled to be asked to represent all kids with disabilities today. I don’t see myself as disabled. Yes, I struggle with a disorder. I always will. But my mother has empowered me to see myself as just like every other person in the world. We all struggle with something. I struggle with Autism. There are kids that struggle with disabilities in our state that do not have the opportunity to tell you the dreams that they have for their lives. They need our support. I know that when I go to college, I will need MONEY, for instance. It will be expensive. But there will need to be special resources available to all people who have disabilities, and there will need to be people in charge who can help guide students who have special needs.

It’s easy to give up sometimes, when you’re struggling. You see the regular people living their lives, and you see your own differences, and you think that maybe you should just settle for a life that’s less “sparkly”. I once thought that it wasn’t possible for me to be an ordinary girl. It’s okay to be me. Actually, I wouldn’t want to be anybody else.

One of my favorite songs is “I Believe I Can Fly.” The words really touch me. It describes where I was, and what I believe now. Some of the words go like this:

I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky.

I think about it every night and day. Spread my wings and fly away.

I believe I can soar. I see me running through that open door.

I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly. I believe I can fly.

In closing, I have to say that I can fly. I know I can. There’s nothing that can stop me. Autism included. Everybody's got wings. God gave us all a set when we were born. We all have them on our backs and we either use them or we don't. What you have to do is know that the wings are there, and that they are strong enough to carry you. You just have to have faith that they will work. You gotta believe. And then you can fly.

Thank you for letting me share some of my story with you today, and for letting me be part of the celebration. I am Jessica Summers, but you can call me “Jazz”.

BIO

Jessica “Jazz” Summers was born in Arkansas in 1990. She lived many years in North Carolina, before moving to Japan with her mother, Dr. Lynley Summers. Her mom and Steve blended their family in 2002, adding his two sons to the household. Jazz loves music and has been in vocal training since the tender age of six years old. She also plays the piano, and composes her own piano music.

Jazz is the youngest member of Bobbi McKenna’s Write Your Own Book Club, which is a club intended for adults. She frequently speaks at events when her mother is speaking, and she talks to kids at conferences and online. Jazz works in the community to increase Autism awareness.

Jazz is an active member of First Christian Church of Sherwood, Arkansas. She has been an assistant teacher in the art room at Bible School, a volunteer in the nursery, and she is very active in the youth group. This year she was voted to serve as a junior deacon, an honor bestowed upon only four young people in the congregation, with the same responsibilities as their adult counterparts. She has also served as the worship leader in the regular service, another role typically reserved for adults in the church. She serves with grace and poise.

A remarkable young lady, Jazz is currently a student at Mills University Studies High School, in Little Rock, Arkansas, which is ranked #20 in the nation by Newsweek.